Fox Poo

28/10

Have you ever rolled in fox poo? I have. I found some the other day. What a wonderful smell! If the humans would only have the sense to bottle it, it would make a fortune. Probably become the latest fashion.

Sadly, mine don't seem to like it. At first I couldn't understand. They wouldn't let me back in the house. That got me a bit worried, 'cos as you know I haven't been here long, and I like it here (lots to eat), so I don't want to get sent away again. But after a bit they appeared with bowls of soapy water and gave me a bath. I could have told them it's no good trying to wash it off. It sticks, like all the best scents (even a week later - Ed.).

I like baths though. When the water is nice and warm, anyway. But humans are so strange. They get you all wet, then they try to make you all dry again. Why bother getting you wet if that's all they're going to do? I thought I'd better show them how, so I gave myself a good shake. They all ran away shrieking like puppies. Obviously they don't like baths as much as I do, even when the water is warm and scented with fox poo. I thought I was being kind as well. After all, they pick up my poo and put it in bags. I thought they liked it.

I will try to remember all the things that I learn and tell you about them, in case you need to learn them as well. So, remember they're allowed to get you wet, but you mustn't do the same to them, even if the water is nice and warm and scented. That probably seems a bit unfair, but it's just the way things are. You have to remember that even when you're just trying to be kind it doesn't always work. Then the second thing is that rolling in fox poo is a good way to get a nice warm bath, so I'll be doing it again as soon as the local foxes provide more poo (it'll be a cold bath next time - Ed).

By the way, I've got a new name now as well. I think it's “Stinky”.

Love and high paws,

Danny